Are You A Pastor's or Minister's Wife?
Pastor's Wives and Minister's Wives often feel left out, overworked and unloved; yet they are expected to attend, host and/or lead many activities. They are considered an integral part of the package deal the church receives when the pastors or ministers hired, but are often not compensated or given room to express their feelings and desires.
Although the Bible does not address the involvement of the Pastor's wives and Minister's wives in any ministry, she does have a role. Sometimes it depends on the denomination, the church in that denomination and in many cases the Deacon or Trustee Board, as to how active she should be. Of course, the Bible says that wives should support and be submissive to her husband, according to Ephesians 5:22-24. However, if the Lord calls a man into the ministry, he calls the whole man, and that very well includes his and his family.
The Ministry Team
In I Timothy chapter 3, The Apostle Paul gives us the qualifications of the office of "Bishop" or what we call a "Pastor." In verse 4 it states, "one who rules his own house well, having his children in submission with all reverence." The phrase "Rules well" is an idiom for being a Biblical husband with a submissive wife and children that love and respect him. The Pastor or Minister who is the head of his home will be more successful as a leader in the church and of course this means that his wife is his helper in the ministry of the home as well as the church. Therefore, they are a "Ministry Team" in all areas of life and not just in the home.
The Pastor's / Minister's Wife does not in any way want to do her husband's job, but the team works together to do the work of the Lord. Many in the body of Christ choose not to accept this reality and want to put the Pastor's / Minister's Wife in a "Box" or "Fishbowl" as it is often said. Some even think that she should stick to keeping the home and supporting her husband in prayer, ONLY! No doubt, this is at the top of every Pastor's / Minister's Wives list of priorities, but she too has gifts that are sometimes overlooked, yet should be utilized in the ministry.
Yesterday versus Today
It is also common that many wives see their husband's calling as "their" ministry, and don't involve themselves in this aspect of their husband's life. This was common early on and I'm sure that many remember these days, but they are long gone! The yesterdays of being a "show piece" rather than a partner in ministry are history. No longer are Pastor's / Minister's Wives being encouraged to be fashion divas, with a slamming suit, the perfect shoes, hand bag to match, and a sophisticated hat cocked to the side, all the while hurting and lonely. Their gifts, talents and desires lie dormant, while they are standing on the sidelines cheering on their husbands, not knowing where they fit into the scheme of things. "Who am I?", they often ask themselves as this void in their lives continue to grow and spread like a wild fire.